new journal

four cards to trade

NOT AVAILABLE

i made these from painted papers and crayon rubbings on tracing paper.  they’re mounted on gessoed old-book pages (the taming of the shrew).  i also still have #2, 3, and 5 (left to right, top to bottom) from the last post.

karen has first choice.  i hope you like them.

not atc’s

UNAVAILABLE

so, when i told bobbi i wanted to trade atc’s with her, she said she only does rebel cards (no rules).  these are for you, bobbi, if you like any of them.  they are not 2.5 x 3.5 inches.  if anyone else wants rebel cards — these are actually about 3 1/4 x 3 5/8″ – you are also welcome to choose one.  they are my very first trading cards, and i had so much fun making them that i want to start some more tomorrow.  i’ll even maybe do some 2.5 x 3.5 . . . if i feel like it.  : )

NOT AVAILABLE

NOT AVAILABLE

NOT AVAILABLE

hi, i’m back

 yes, well i’m feeling better today.  i’ve had a couple of weeks to freely make messes in my journal and to mull over the whole idea of whether or not to share it.  no, i’m not a proper writer or artist or photographer, but i do have this urge to create.  the way i see it, if God made me this way, i should just go with it and not worry about some possible judgemental viewer who might think my things are amateurish and weird.  so i’ve decided to just let the amateurish weirdness flow. . . at least for now . . . .  this realization that it’s okay to make and share these things actually came out of my recent grappling with another issue i’ve been dealing with for years. 

it’s the old cry of “why did you make me this way?” (which believers are not supposed to say to God, but of course we do).   i’m shy, quiet, too sensitive, and somewhat agoraphobic,  but i’ve spent my whole life trying to act like i’m not, and feeling guilty when i fail.  why?  because it’s socially unacceptable to be shy and a homebody.  because i had this idea that “handicaps” are given to us so that we become stronger by overcoming them.  it suddenly came into my head yesterday that this whole idea might be nonsense.  my son has tourette’s.  can anyone imagine God saying to him, “i made you this way, but i will not be pleased with you if you tic.”   or can you imagine him saying to a crippled person, “i made you this way, but you must not limp.”  this thought made me feel a little better about my “handicap,” but then an even wilder thought came to me.  maybe God doesn’t even consider shyness and sensitivity a handicap!  maybe he likes quietness and sensitivity as much as boldness.     maybe he likes us to be who we are!